Proud Boys Get Owned - Literally
From White Supremacy to Church Fundraisers, What a Glorious Fall
Well, well, well. If it isn’t the consequences of their own dumbass actions.
The Proud Boys, a group of wannabe tough guys LARPing as patriots, just got hit where it really hurts—their brand. A judge awarded the trademarked name and symbols of the far-right extremist group to a Black church they vandalized in Washington, D.C., to help satisfy a $2.8 million judgment against them. (CBS News)
That’s right—these brain-dead goons literally lost ownership of their own damn name to a group they tried to terrorize. You can’t make this up. This is karma, divine justice, and pure unfiltered humiliation wrapped into one delicious package.
How We Got Here: The Dumbassery Timeline
The Proud Boys, known for their violent antics and frat-boy fascism, decided it would be a great idea to vandalize a historic Black church during a pro-Trump rally in 2020. Because when you have the IQ of a turnip and a hero complex, attacking a house of worship seems like a logical way to “save America.”
Unfortunately for them, the Metropolitan African Methodist Episcopal Church wasn’t having it. They sued the hell out of these discount insurrectionists and won a multi-million dollar judgment. And since these broke-ass fascists don’t have two pennies to rub together, the court handed over their trademarked name and symbols to the church instead.
Let’s take a moment to appreciate the sheer poetic justice of this. The same group that stormed cities, harassed minorities, and pretended to be the “defenders of Western civilization” just got legally strong-armed by the very people they tried to intimidate. Now their beloved brand, their MAGA fashion statement, their little club name—belongs to a Black church.
The Meltdown Is Glorious
As expected, the incel brigade is losing its collective mind. They spent years building up their idiotic brand, only to have it handed over to the very people they despise. Imagine getting your ass kicked so hard by the legal system that your name becomes a fundraising tool for your enemies.
Even better? This ruling means the church now owns all rights to the Proud Boys' branding. That means if these numbskulls try to use the name or logo, they could be sued into further oblivion. Oh, the irony. The very system they claim to “defend” just neutered them in broad daylight.
Let’s Talk About ‘Freedom’
The Proud Boys love to whine about “freedom” and “free speech,” but here’s a fun fact: Actions have consequences.
You don’t get to terrorize communities and expect to walk away unscathed. You don’t get to play Nazi dress-up and think there won’t be repercussions. And you sure as hell don’t get to vandalize a Black church and then cry when the courts legally repossess your entire movement.
Freedom doesn’t mean you get to be a violent asshole without consequences. It means everyone—including the people you tried to intimidate—has the right to fight back. And fight back they did.
What Happens Next?
With their brand in the hands of a Black church, the Proud Boys now face two possible futures:
Rebrand under a new name, because nothing screams “strong patriotic movement” like running from legal ownership issues.
Keep using the Proud Boys name and get sued into bankruptcy again. (Honestly, please pick this one. I’d love to see these idiots self-destruct even further.)
Meanwhile, the Metropolitan AME Church now has full control over the Proud Boys' name and can use it to fundraise, spread awareness, or simply rub salt in the wound. This is what real power looks like—not cosplaying in tactical gear and whining on Parler.
Final Thoughts: A Satisfying Collapse
The Proud Boys have always been a pathetic excuse for a movement—a bunch of fragile man-children who think violence is a personality trait. Now, they’ve been financially gutted, legally humiliated, and stripped of their own identity.
And the best part? It was done completely legally. No riots. No violence. Just a courtroom and a righteous legal smackdown. Turns out the system works just fine when it’s used to stomp out actual threats to democracy.
So let’s all take a moment to enjoy this. Let’s laugh. Let’s celebrate. Because watching fascists lose never gets old.
And to the Proud Boys: Good luck explaining to your grandkids how you lost your entire movement to a Black church. That’s gonna be a hell of a bedtime story.